An Untraditional Finish (Part 1 of 2)

Most people who go to college usually take classes for a few years, graduate, find a job, and eventually get married and have kids. I did all this too - just not in that order. When I set off for college in the fall of 2003, I had no idea that earning my degree would require not only managing the responsibilities of a student, but also those of a wife and mother as well.

My first few years of school were spent at a local community college and a small Bible school. After getting married during my junior year, I moved out of state with my husband, Jason, and transferred all my credits to a Christian liberal arts college near Chattanooga, Tennessee. Although I had almost three years of schooling under my belt, this new college required all new students to attend a weeklong orientation prior to starting the semester.

I felt odd that week being the only married transfer student amid the throng of bubbly freshmen. In terms of life-stage, I had more in common with the professors than I did with the students. Unlike the “kids,” I wouldn’t be returning to the dorm to discuss my latest crush or quirky professor. I wouldn’t participate in campus pranks, late night parties, inside jokes, or early morning runs to the local Krispy Kreme store. Instead, I would spend most of my evenings driving home, eating dinner with my husband, and going to bed before midnight.

Sometimes this social distance proved comical. While eating in the cafeteria with another student, an upperclassman approached us and started talking to me. He was being sweet and attentive, but I didn’t want to lead him on at all. So I casually mentioned something about my husband. The other student smiled and said something to the effect of “Oops, better take her off the list.”

Another time, I found myself assuming a maternal role. While doing a service project with my orientation team, I noticed that our leader’s mascara was smeared. I offered to fix the problem and she accepted. There I was, spit-shining the face of an authority figure that was younger than I was. When I had fixed her makeup, she smiled and said, “You’ll make a great mom someday.”

My team leader must have been majoring in prophecy. A few weeks later, I found that I had not only begun my first semester at this new school; I had also started my first trimester. I was pregnant. And this hadn’t exactly been in my graduation plans. Jason and I were hoping to become parents after I completed my degree. But now that I was expecting a baby, could I honestly expect a diploma as well?